Freaky Friday (Bones edition)
by pasha54
Summary: Freaky Friday is a Disney movie (from the 90's?) in which two people (a teen and her mother) swap bodies and havoc ensues. In this story, Temperance Brennan wakes up one morning to find that she has exchanged bodies with Pam Noonan.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter I, Down the Rabbit Hole**

**Freaky Friday (Bones edition)**

**A/N This takes place at the end of Season 2. Freaky Friday is a Disney movie (from the 1990s?) in which a teen and her mother magically switch bodies (for a while) and have to deal with consequences. In this case, the body swap occurs between Bones and Pam Noonan. This takes place after Booth and Brennan meet Pam. (I'm suspending reality not just because this doesn't happen in real life, but because the body/brain divide is, in many ways, an artificial one.)**

**Also, for purposes of this fiction, Avalon Harmonia has already warned Booth in time to save Bones' life. I'm pretty sure that on the show this doesn't happen until Season 4.**

Temperance Brennan woke up one morning with a splitting headache and very little energy. She noticed that her pajama pants were tight and thought "if I didn't know better, I'd think I was pregnant". Brennan also noticed that she wasn't in her apartment, but in a cramped walkup studio, with very little furniture, pillows shaped like hearts, stuffed animals on the floor, and pictures of her handsome partner plastered all over the walls, stalker fashion. "Have I been kidnapped?" she wondered, trying to stay calm. She wasn't bound in any way or locked in. "Or am I still asleep and having a bad dream?" She pinched herself, and came completely awake. She immediately started to become very worried for Booth.

Temperance tried to put on the clothes she had worn last night and couldn't fit into them. She started to feel as though she had walked into a scene from "Alice in Wonderland". She looked in the mirror and almost shrieked at what she saw; the face of Pam Noonan staring back at her. "Have I been drugged?" she asked herself.

Worst of all, Brennan did not have any credentials on her that would allow her into the lab, not that she resembled at all any of her real ID pictures. For that matter, she had no access to any money or even any idea where Pam worked.

At least there was a computer in the room so Brennan was able to send Cam and Booth an email explaining that she was unable to come in. It occurred to Bones that Pam might be in Bones' body and was trying to figure out how to clue in her lab family. It was very difficult to know how to send a message which Bones herself would not believe if she received it. Desperate times call for desperate solutions, and the only person she could think to call was Avalon Harmonia. Avalon, with her belief in the metaphysical, just might believe that Brennan had gotten stuck in someone else's body.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2, Pam gets lucky

Pam Noonan woke up in a strange apartment and thought she was having her own weird dream. She felt better than she normally did. Her clothes were much looser on her than she remembered which immediately cemented her good mood. When she came into the living room of the apartment, she was less impressed with all the weird souvenirs decorating the room, and even less so with the nuts and berries that were available in the kitchen. She decided that she might enjoy looking at her slimmer self in the mirror, and when she found a mirror, she saw the face of Dr. Temperance Brennan. She gave a slight scream at the sight of her arch enemy staring back at her and then gave a feral smile. Temperance got to work with Seeley, and since she was now Temperance, she would get to work with the handsome FBI agent. Without too much trouble, Pam found Temperance's identification cards. She also happily discovered that Temperance carried some money around with her (more than Pam had) so she could get breakfast before going to the Jeffersonian. "This is going to be fuuuun" thought Pam.

When Cam saw the figure of Temperance Brennan entering the lab, she was surprised, to say the least. "Dr. Brennan, I thought you weren't coming in today."

"Changed my mind" Pam mumbled. "I'm feeling better." Now Cam was really confused; Brennan had said she was going to stay home to work on her book since there were no cases pending. She didn't say anything, but gave the woman who she thought was Brennan a puzzled look.

Pam did not, of course, know where Dr. Brennan's office was; fortunately, her office had a sign on the door and Pam managed to find the key to it on the ring she had found this morning in the apartment, though people looked at her funny when she took a long time finding it. When Pam walked in, she was startled to find a giant iguana in a cage next to the desk. "That woman is a freak" thought Pam. Unfortunately for Pam, most of the files on Brennan's computer were encrypted, and the few that weren't were completely incomprehensible to her.

Angela came barging into Brennan's office, as usual, without a knock. "Sweetie, I just have to vent to you. I had this horrible date last night….." Pam tried to listen and nod at the appropriate times, and just shut up. Fortunately for Pam, Angela was (for once) too preoccupied with her own troubles to grill her.

A knock came on the door "Dr. Brennan" said Daisy Wick "I've finished reconstructing the skull you requested".

"Thank you" said Pam.

"Aren't you going to check it?" asked Daisy.

"I trust your work" said Pam. "Are you all right Dr. Brennan" asked Daisy in surprise? "I'm fine" mumbled the supposed Dr. Brennan.

Angela just barely registered the conversation, and only really processed it about 15 minutes later.

Pam was hoping that Seeley would visit her office, not knowing that the real Brennan had emailed him about her absence.

Suddenly Cam knocked on her door "you've got a case" and started giving Pam the particulars.


	3. Chapter 3, Brennan is REALLY Acting Stra

Chapter 3 Brennan is REALLY acting strange

Seconds later, Pam heard the ringing of Brennan's cell phone and answered "hello" (which was not the way Bones usually answered the phone). This barely registered with Booth who asked "are you home? I'll pick you up in 20."

"I'm actually in my office".

"Well I'll pick you up there in 10" said Booth and hung up.

When Booth processed the conversation, he was a bit puzzled too. Bones usually answered her phone "Brennan", and she would normally say that she was at the lab rather than saying she was in her office.

However, he was always glad to see his Bones, even if she did drive him batty. When he entered her office he said "chop chop Bones, time to go".

Pam thought "Bones" was an odd nickname, but she was elated to see "the man of her dreams". "Oh Seeley" she gushed, and threw her arms around him.

"Bones, are you okay?" he asked "because you are not acting like yourself today at all."

"Oh Seeley, I just never appreciated before what a wonderful man you are."

"Bones, excuse me just a second".

"Sure, anything for you Seeley."

Booth went into Angela's office. "Angela, have you noticed anything off about Bones today?"

"Now that you mention it Booth, Daisy told her that she'd reconstructed the skull, and Bren didn't even want to check it. That's SO unlike her."

"Well she was calling me Seeley , throwing her arms around my neck, and telling me that she never appreciated how wonderful I am. It's so unlike her that it's a little creepy, to be honest."

Just then Angela's phone rang. "Angela, this is Avalon, and I need to give you a warning about Temperance. The person you see before you is not the real Temperance Brennan. The real Temperance Brennan is somewhere else."

"Can you tell me more, Avalon, because Bren has been acting really strange this morning."

Just beware of the person who looks like Temperance. She is trouble. Booth should distance himself from her immediately. Booth needs to go to Pam's apartment to find the real Temperance, and she may not appear as he expects her to.

This was a bit much, even for Angela, but she dutifully relayed the message to Booth. Booth didn't know what to think. He didn't believe in psychics, but Avalon had helped him to save Bones in the past using her psychic abilities. Since Avalon had not said that Bones was in immediate danger, he thought that he would just ditch his supposed partner. Even if this really were Bones, she really was acting off. He decided to explain the situation to Cam and ask her to come to the crime scene with him.

Cam, when she heard the concerns of Booth, Angela, and Daisy, was willing to keep "Dr. Brennan" out of the loop just because she was acting so loopy. So no one had to mention psychics or the possibility that the woman in the lab with them was not Dr. Brennan.

Pam was just as happy not to go to the crime scene.


	4. Chapter 4, Temperance's Metamorphosis

Chapter 4 Temperance's Metamorphosis

When Booth and Cam were done at the crime scene, Booth collected Angela, and they knocked on Pam's apartment door. Brennan was right there waiting for them. "Booth, Ange!" she cried. I've been sitting here is this apartment feeling like a Kafkaesque cockroach!". "Huh?" asked Booth.

"Franz Kafka wrote a story called "Metamorphosis" about a man who turns into a cockroach. It's an allegory about the demonization of Jews by the Nazis."

Booth and Angela looked at each other and said "that's Brennan".

Brennan said "I was afraid to tell you about this, because it is so illogical that I don't even believe it." It feels like the time period when I had amnesia in New Orleans. There's no rational explanation."

Angela informed her that her doppelganger was in the lab.

"Booth, Pam has a stalker wall for you. You need to be careful," said Bones, pointing at the wall. And for some reason, at the moment, she looks exactly like me, and I look exactly like her. She has my body, my ID, my cell phone. It's so strange to hear her voice come out of my mouth. I was lucky I was able to email you today and call Harmonia from Pam's land line. There is no way that I can prove that I am myself or that she is Pam Noonan. Booth , she shouldn't be in the lab."

"Furthermore", Bones continued, I'm afraid that if I stay in this body that I will start to become her. The brain/body divide is not as rigid as popularly assumed."

"Well, first things first" said Booth. "Obviously, you can't go out into the field like that. Maybe you could stay at my place". I believe you are Bones, but unfortunately, we can't give you any access to the evidence until we prove it.

"I would expect nothing else" said Brennan. "I can spend some useful time here collecting information on Pam's obsession with you. However, being away from the lab, not to mention being in a body less healthy than my own, is making me quite frustrated.

"We love you however you look Sweetie" said Angela, recognizing that Brennan was also mourning the loss of her good looks. "It ought to be easy to get Pam out of the lab. Pam looks exactly the way you normally do, Sweetie, but she doesn't act like you at all. If Sweets talks to her for 5 minutes, he'll realize that she is insane. We somehow have to keep him from thinking that you are insane."

Booth took Brennan over to his apartment. At least he hoped it was Brennan; the thought of giving Pam free rein of his apartment was just too chilling to be contemplated. To be sure, even having someone who looked like Pam Noonan in his quarters was a bit creepy. At Brennan's request, Booth went to her apartment to bring some anthropology journals to his apartment. He couldn't bring the laptop to her just in case she wasn't really Bones, but he did put it in his safe. He hoped that the fake Bones (Pam) had not been messing with Brennan's computer that morning.


	5. Houston, We have a Problem

Chapter 5 Houston, We have a problem

When Booth and Angela got back to the lab, the first thing they did was to steal Brennan's purse back from Pam while Pam was in the bathroom. Booth then called Sweets and told him that Brennan was acting psychotic and that he needed to come over immediately. Sweets complied willingly, worried about Brennan but happy to finally be really needed by the gang at the lab. He knocked tentatively on the door of Dr. Brennan's office.

"Dr. Brennan, mind if I come in?" asked Sweets.

"Hi" said Pam, feeling as if this young man was supposed to be someone she knew, and trying not to let on that she had no idea who he was. Just like everyone else had, Sweets knew that there was something off.

"I hear that you've been under a lot of stress lately" Sweets began.

"Well" said Pam, you know how it is planning a wedding."

"Dr. Brennan, I didn't know you were getting married!"

"Yes, this time next month, I'll be Mrs. Seeley Booth! I can't wait to tell my parents" Pam giggled girlishly. Sweets' jaw dropped, and he sat there silent for a full minute, then arose.

"Well, Dr. Brennan, I just wanted to drop by and see how you are doing."

"Goodbye" said Pam.

Sweets scrambled over to Angela's office where Angela and Booth were both waiting. He said "if I didn't know better, I would think that Dr. Brennan was channeling Pam Noonan, from the time I watched you with her in interrogation. Has somebody drugged Dr. Brennan?"

So just to make sure, Cam convinced Pam to take a blood test "for the wedding". (Brennan would never have acquiesced so easily.) When Pam's blood turned out to be clean, Cam then suggested that Pam take off a few weeks to prepare for the wedding. Cam was very, very worried about her chief anthropologist.

She called an emergency meeting of Angela, Hodgins, Sweets, and Booth. Somewhat against their better judgment, Booth and Angela told the others about the call from Avalon that morning, and their subsequent visit to Pam Noonan's apartment, and the very Brennan-like behavior of the person who looked like Pam Noonan. They speculated that Pam was mimicking Brennan's behavior out of jealousy of Brennan's relationship with Booth. Sweets couldn't rule this out, but he admitted that this was unlikely. But a body swap? That was impossible.

There was nothing more they could do at the lab. Cam directed every one of them, especially Sweets, to try to figure out what was causing Dr. Brennan (assuming it was Dr. Brennan) to behave like Pam Noonan.


	6. Brennan's Return

Chapter 6, Brennan Returns

When Booth got home, Bones was on the sofa reading through her journals. She asked if she could sleep in Parker's room, and he agreed. She was unusually quiet, although she ate the Thai food that he brought back with him. He thought she seemed nervous around him, and was not surprised. She must realize that he was not completely certain that she was Bones, and that her current body was much less attractive than his Bones'. All the same, he locked his bedroom door.

Brennan retired to Parker's room with her journals, and wrote plot ideas down by hand (so strange not having access to a computer!). She thought that she wouldn't be able to sleep, but she fell asleep and had a nightmare. In her nightmare, she WAS Pam, and tried to shoot Brennan while Brennan was singing karaoke at the Checker Box Café. Booth stood to shield Brennan from the bullet and was himself shot…and killed.

Brennan woke up screaming at about 3am. The overwhelming guilt and heaviness of her dream made her frantic to get as far away from Booth as she could, so she couldn't possibly hurt him. She opened her door, hoping that she had not awoken Booth, with the intention of sleeping outside, or walking the streets,….or something.

Booth, meanwhile, had been sleeping like a sniper. He heard the screaming, and against his better judgment, he opened his door when his guest slipped out of Parker's bedroom. He turned on the light, and was delighted to see the beautiful face of his partner again. Unfortunately, she was definitely crying, although silently now that she was awake.

"Bones, you're back!" Brennan noticed, much to her relief, that the clothes she was wearing now hung on her.

"Oh Booth", I dreamt I really was Pam and that I killed you. I was jealous of Brennan and tried to shoot her at the Chatter Box Café. I don't ever want to go there again. And seriously, watch out for Pam; she's deranged. I don't want you in the interrogation room with her or even a court room."

Booth just said "you're lucky you're cute when you're bossy."

"Oh Booth, I wish I knew what had caused that transformation; I'm afraid that it will happen again. I was starting to think I was really Pam, and still think that a bit. Is this what they call an identity crisis?"

"I dunno, Bones, you'd have to talk to Sweets about that."

"Booth, just how much havoc did Pam cause in my name?"

"Fortunately, she was too obvious to do too much harm to the evidence, but you may have a lot to explain to Sweets. She was sure that we were getting married next month and was excited that she was going to be "Mrs. Seeley Booth". She said she was telling her parents about it. She also had a tendency to throw her arms around me and tell me how wonderful I was. We even tested her for drugs, because she was acting so unlike you." If Brennan had been the kind to bang her head on the desk, she certainly would have done so. As it was, she just groaned.


End file.
